Heroin Addicts: Methadone Detox Facts

Question: 17, kicked out.. my mum is making me choose family or my heroin addict boyfriend, advice asap?

(Posted by: Ruby on 2010-03-21 07:56:45)

Okay so i'm 17 years old, live in the uk if that helps. Been with my boyfriend for near enough a year now, (we did have a 3 month split though) i lived with him for 5 months until we split, this was due to the fact my mum and my family didn't like him because he is a heroin addict (don't judge please). He is on methadone. I thought the world of him, in the end it got to much with the trouble from my family we had to split. Anyway we got back together and my mum told me i couldn't see him she would throw me out the house if i did.. anyway i felt so low i actually ended up takng crack and heroin with him (my own choice) my mum now knows about my drug use as i accidently injected and OD. I still smoke it (i am also getting help and getting subutex to get off it) In the mean time my mum has thrown me out the house, i've had to go and move in with my dad (he doesn't want me there he asked my mum to take me back, she won't) he is never there always working or out drinking. I feel so alone, my mum is also on about banning me from coming and visiting her unless i get clean and stop seeing my boyfriend. She calls me fat, a druggie, junkie, smackhead ect...!! things like that don't help me..!! She also says horrible things about my boyfriend too. I don't want to be living with my dad, he isn't there for me, it doesn't feel like home, and i just feel so alone, Yet when i visit my mum i get arguments and judgement. I can't win the only place im happy is with my boyfriend. I also have no other family i speak too apart from dad, mum, brother and they all think the same. Thing is i can get clean and im going too but i can't leave my boyfriend i do love him and he has more or less stuck by me through everything and my family caused him alot of greif but he still wants to be with me. My mum is also moving quite a while away very soon so i have no choose if im moving with her and not seeing my boyfriend again or stay here and loose her. She has said i need to choose between him and her... i can't, i want my family and my boyfriend.. i can't choose, help???

Posted by: Shaun on 2010-03-21, 08:11:13

Alright, so first thing's first, take care of yourself--get clean, work things out with that. Now as far as the relationship thing goes, if your boyfriend isn't making the same efforts you are to get clean/ sober, then with him is not a place for you to be now, if he cares about you as much as you obviously care about him. he will work towards sobriety. I know it's not an easy road, but if you find he's not making any progress with getting clean, I suggest you leave him, that may be the wake-up call he needs to see that he ought to be getting clean. You may also find it very hard to maintain your own sobriety, which is really important, while still being with him if he's using. I hope that helps, it might be a bit confusing.

Posted by: ~♥ beautiful nightmare ♥~ on 2010-03-21, 08:03:38

Choose ur family ...blood is thicker than water....n relationships dont last......if u pick him over them ull regret it :/

Posted by: Lisa on 2010-03-21, 08:04:46

"I feel so alone, my mum is also on about banning me from coming and visiting her unless i get clean and stop seeing my boyfriend. She calls me fat, a druggie, junkie, smack head " Sorry but, Agreed. If you loved your family so much you would get clean and chose them, Heroin at 17? That's just Disgusting.. I see where your family are coming from. My advice.... Get a doctor, get clean, sort yourself out, Waster.

Posted by: askangie on 2010-03-21, 08:08:45

I don't think the real choice is between her and him,, I think the real choice is between getting clean and getting your life back in order or going down in flames with your bf. I hate to be so frank, but it really is true. You may feel like you have it all under control, but once you are on these drugs they rule you, you don't rule them. It's lovely that your bf has stuck with you through the ups and downs of life, but the two of you together are not going to be able to pull it together right now. It's like two people caught in quicksand trying to help each other out of it. It can't work. Is there a chance you guys could each get clean and then get back together once you're sober and clean and work things out? Maybe. But right now your mother is still giving you a chance to get it together with her help..Take the help while it's still being offered! Because the deeper in you get with the drugs, the less likely she is going to be willing to help..it is very overwhelming to watch someone you love tear their body and mind down with drugs. While she should certainly refrain from calling you names and judging you, she still is offering a hand up! I think choosing to move with your mom is really choosing LIFE and healing. Look at it this way. Ask her if she is willing to get you help with the substance abuse if you move with her and ask her to please refrain from the judgments and name calling, tell her this only hurts you and makes you feel worse. Explain to her that loving you and helping you get professional help is what will REALLY help. Please don't think you can do this on your own, being homeless and addicted to drugs is going to be a rough road to say the least, if not deadly in the end. Please find the inner strength to take the help being offered you. Warmest regards.

Posted by: thepainter on 2010-03-21, 08:09:21

You are a 17 year old kid with your whole life ahead of you....why are you throwing it away on this one boyfriend? Does he work? can support you and take care of you like a man is supposed to do?? your family is not rejecting you, they are rejecting the person who does drugs. if you stay with this guy, and choose to still dabble in drugs, you will lose everything...maybe your life! is he really that important?

Posted by: Nikki C on 2010-03-21, 08:20:30

Heroin addicts are yucky. Yeah, i am judging. My dad was addicted to coke for a while. My friends friend starting dating a HEROIN ADDICT and she became addicted. And they ended up stealing my friends phone, ipod, 200$. For drug money! My friend was best friends with this person before she became addicted to heroin. They lived together and my friend had to leave their apartment, quit his job and move back home all because of her. Glamoourrous life if you ask me, throwing away and basically taking a giant crap on people you love, and throwing away your life for drugs are your drug addicted honey... sound familiar? Honestly, i think you're just young. Your family matters. You only get one mom. There are millions of guys to choose from. Ones that probably don't do drugs. Obviously your boyfriend is the problem here. He has messed up your relationship with your mother. He has had you kicked out of your own home. Drugs like heroin or coke or anything of that sort ARE NEVER GOOD. It's a filthy disgusting habit and there's no way doing heroin or dating an addict will bring any good into your life (obviously, just look at your situation). She shouldn't say such harsh things to you but, how do you honestly think she feels? Do you think about that? To see her daughter with some druggie, and to see her doing the drugs herself? I know you love this guy now, but either way it'll end eventually. And honestly is being with him worth pretty much giving up your life? Giving up your family?

Posted by: william on 2010-03-21, 08:25:08

Why are you asking when you have already made up your mind? Are you looking for a fool to agree with you. the best thing you can do for a heroin addict is to either take them to a place where they can not get near and drug and then keep them there or give them enough money to finish the job fast without them having to destroy other peoples lives. I had a daughter who chose to be with a heroin addict and she had to make that choice too, family or the addict, she was old enough to make that choice legally and she chose him.....now her life is finished as she is a slave to him and even though not yet taking drugs she is a broken young woman and I do not even want to know when she is dead. He will most likely beat her to death when in one of his tempers. I did not visit her in hospital last time she "fell over in work " and had stomach injuries and both eardrums perforated. She is also in as much debt as possible for a young girl her age. She borrowed from loan sharks at 1780% interest to fund his heroin and crack habit and keep him out of prison, that did not work and now she works two jobs to pay the debt and waits for him to come out of prison for most of the year. You have already made your choice and it was very painful for your parents but they have probably come to terms with losing you. You will not have to go through what you have put them through as you will not have children and see them do the same and that is a good thing because this is just a way of sorting out the weak and the strong. It is very rare if not impossible for any person to be able to stop taking heroin as those that become addicted are lost forever. Same for those that fall into alcohol addiction (which is worse than Heroin) or some other form of addiction. Stay with the one you love but stay away from your parents and family forever as you have no right to inflict such pain on them even if they are willing to let it happen just disappear into your world of drugs and try to enjoy it without being a burden on the rest of us.